John O'Groats

John O'Groats is a hovel. A hopeless and complete waste of space. It has been designed with the worst kind of tourist in mind, and will be likely to leave even them disappointed. It isn't the most northerly point in the UK - that is halfway back to Thurso. It isn't even the most north-easterly point in the UK - that's the lighthouse around 3 miles to the east. It is just the only place nearby with the cheek to call itself a settlement.

If, against all the best advice, you arrive in John O'Groats, you will be dropped off in a car park near the ferry terminal. To your left is an ugly characterless shopping village, home to shops selling rubbish like candles and knitwear. If you are an EU citizen you may wish to ponder the fact that European money was wasted in building this act of vandalism. If you are not an EU citizen, shame on you for visiting John O'Groats anyway. To your right is the ferry office and ramshackle caravan park. Straight ahead you will find a tea-room and shop which is quite unjustly proud to serve overpriced Costa coffee, as well as the same Scottish junk you can find in any other shop. Beyond that you will find a photographer who will take hackneyed shots of you next to a fake signpost, an appalling attempted museum, and a tourist information centre, which is essentially another shop with a few out-of-date timetables posted unhelpfully in the window.